Worst Playing Partners

Everyone has played with them and everyone knows what I’m talking about.  Let’s go over some of the worst (funniest) playing partners you can have.  This is somewhat like the stereotypical people you would see on your college campus.  You know, the cocky bike rider who was doing BMX tricks between people trying to get to class.  Or the couple way too into PDA.  I have gathered this information from years of playing golf by myself as a younger player.  It has lead to meeting some truly great people, but has also resulted in meeting some on the other end of the spectrum.

Top 100 Teacher in Their Own Mind: This one knows all about the golf swing and isn’t afraid to diagnose what ails your swing.  It doesn’t matter if the advice was unsolicited.  It is best to treat this one with respect outwardly, but let all the information go in one ear and out the other.

Tour Pro Level Slow Player: This yahoo is looking at putts from 15 angles, but not until it is their turn.  Waiting for complete quiet before they hit their shot.  They are also known to back off at the slightest noise.  Prepare for a 6 hour round with this bozo.

The Drunk: Now there is nothing funny about alcohol abuse.  I am assuming all the one’s I have played with did not suffer from that disease.  That being said, when you are 6 beers deep by the 3rd or 4th tee it could be a long day.  For goodness sake, please don’t drive the golf cart or you may end up in a pond.

Vanity Tour Player: This is the one who is saying how good they recently played.  They shot a 72 earlier that week, but are struggling to break 100 with you.  No one is judging you, but don’t hype yourself too much.  Play your game and have fun.

Talker: The one who doesn’t know when to keep quiet.  They’re talking in your backswing or putting stroke consistently throwing off your concentration.  Put a sock in it buddy!

Etiquette Idiot: This is for non-beginners.  If you are new to the game, ignorance of etiquette is much more acceptable.  But for someone who has played the game for awhile there is no reason to constantly step in someone’s line.  You also should remember to fix ball marks and rake bunkers.  You need to learn where to drive the cart.  Know when it is your turn to play.  Generally get it together!

Volcano: You know this one.  They snap clubs, throw them Olympic-level distances, and generally curse like a sailor the whole round.  We have all been angry during a round, but this one takes it to a whole other level.  In essence, they have forgotten that golf is supposed to be fun.

I know I am not perfectly behaved on the course and have probably exhibited some of these traits at times.  You are probably in the same boat.  Let’s try to not be like these caricatures!  It will make us more enjoyable playing partners.  Let me know if I missed one!